To John

To John,

I was a bad influence on you. I always was. You would have taken the blame if we were ever caught; so I did it for you.
I can't even try to think about how much pain you went through these past years without me. But you're much better off. I would have been the death of you; and I wouldn't have been able to hold that weight.
I've been keeping an eye on you every now and then, see how you're holding up.
Thank you for letting me go. I know you'll have a wonderful life without the worry of me. I was never worthy. I will never be worthy.
I will not explain how I did it, in fear you will be targeted, but I will say that you were the best companion anyone could have. The best friend.
I will say that, from the depths of me, you will not be forgotten. I will terribly miss our cases, and I will miss you.
You were the only person who could ever put up with me and my antics, even at my worst. We had an amazing partnership.
There was no need to tell people that the newspapers were wrong. People believe in what they see, so thank you for seeing me; for believing in me, and for keeping hope when I couldn't.
This is the only time you'll ever hear from me, and the only time I could tell you.

Without a doubt in my mind,
I believe in you.

Forever and always,

SH